Spirit of the Marathon

I knew I was going to cry at some point in this movie. It's a movie about goals, and the endurance to meet those goals, with the understanding that a new goal would be just around the corner. Life doesn't end with the accomplishment of one goal. That's probably why runners go through a certain blah state after their *first* marathon or their *first* race, or any event that they planned for and worked towards to the point that it was the focus of their life.

To have running as the focus of life is not a bad thing. Obviously, others are doing it, so it can't be the purview of a crazy person. Also, so many running clubs are around it must be a cool way to meet people. I could meet other knitters through running. Of course, would I go that route? There is a running store near me with running events on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I plan to join them, but maybe when it's not so cold, and maybe when I'm more comfortable with outdoor running.

Why I think I will cry during the Cherry Blossom Run - if I want to run strong then I will be pushing myself to face a limit that only existed in my head. The head is a heavy place. It takes some doing to remove those heavy thoughts, and the exertion just from that will cause sweat and tears.

I remember when I attended massage school, I started to cry in the middle of a massage by another student. She seemed so timid that I was taken by surprise by the confidence in which she went about the massage. It's like hidden emotions underneath my skin were revealed, and the only way for them to get out is through tears. I think that will happen during this running training. I will be moving muscles in way and for periods that I haven't done before. With this in mind, hidden emotions will be released, and all of a sudden I will feel raw, exposed, and exhausted, and it won't be from the running. That is the scary thing - to be so tired, and only due to the release of a hidden emotion. Maybe running is the blank canvas to release these colors hidden within me from my life. It should be interesting.